It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas!

Well, not exactly because it was almost 80 degrees today..which is just not okay in December. But, welcome to SC I suppose. This break has been pretty good. Dealing with family issues has been more stressful than I wanted it to be, but at this point it's impossible to avoid. I've spent a good deal of time with him and it's been good to actually just be with him and not only talking over the phone. It's definitely a different relationship in person, which I'm really starting to appreciate. I was right in thinking that any relationship comes with a certain amount of drama, but we seem to be handling things pretty well and just dealing with life as it comes our way.

We finally put a tree up in the house and various and sundry holiday decorations, so even though it's toasty out it feels wintry inside :) I love all of the sparkling lights and big ornaments and greenery everywhere. Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. Mainly, for the same reason as other holidays, because I get to spend some quality time with those that I love the most. Plus, we have cookies and sweets showing up at our house like it's going out of style and really, who's gonna complain about that?!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!  :)

So Much Happening!

In the past few months I've:
1. Started my Senior year of undergrad!!
2. Been accepted to 3 schools in the UK to study for my postgrad (including GLA)
3. Decided that I'm officially going back to GLASGOW!!!!!
4. Had more health issues than I really ever wanted
5. Gained a completely new appreciation for my family and all that we do for one another
6. Written 25 pages about and given a 10 minute presentation on my Senior Thesis
7. Received an internship with a local museum

Needless to say I've had a number of breakdowns(including many tears and more than a little bit of snot). I cried from happiness at the prospect of returning to Glasgow and feeling like myself again. I have felt more accomplished and proud of myself than I ever have and I'm starting to feel like I really can handle this thing called life. I'm excited to be busy again, maybe even a little too much so, but it's what makes me thrive. Hopefully this last semester is going to go by smoothly so that I can spend peaceful time with my family and yet quickly enough that it will feel like no time at all until I am packing my bags to head back to my favourite place in the world...

Growing Up...maybe

It is amazing to me to look back on the past three years and to see just how much has changed. I've changed, my friends have changed, my family has changed. Heck, even my dog has changed! Now, I realize that part of "growing up" is experiencing change and accepting the fact that sometimes there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop it.
I'm fine with that. It's taken me a while to reach that point, but I can honestly say that I am at a point in my life where I'm welcoming change and all of the ups and downs it adds to my schedule. Freshman year, you never would have heard me say that. I can remember having full-blown panic attacks because something that I felt like I needed to have control over was spiriling away from me. I'm still a bit of a control freak, and I like to keep a sense of order and an amount of peace in my life, so I'll never go too crazy. But, after so long of the same over and over again something new and different may be exactly what one needs to keep going. Or to have that epiphany of "I can't control everything". It's scary and can make people uneasy, but it's also been very freeing and has allowed me to come to terms with myself and what I actually want in life.
That sounds like a pretty "grown up" thing to say, right?

Missing Scotland

It has officially been a year since I got on a plane going to Glasgow, Scotland. I absolutely cannot believe that so much time has passed. Any time I think about my experience in Glasgow it all seems so surreal. I wanted to go to Scotland since before I can remember, and now that I've gone...I want to go back even more than before. I know that I need to enjoy where I'm at now and truly cherish my Senior year, but I can already tell that until the day I am at the gate in the airport I'll be slightly off-kilter, not quite myself. And I apologize now for any way in which that affects my relationships with people. It's not completely fair to them or me, but neither is life in general, right?

Bffl loves :)

Party this weekend for the bffl/roomie!! She won't be partying as hard as some of will be, seeing as how she'll be ...preoccupied. But it's still going to be so much fun. Even though we probably spend way too much time together and don't always agree on every single thing, she's one of the best friends that I have ever had and I don't know that I would be the person that I am today without her influence in my life. And for that I will always be there for her, no matter what. Love you, Elizabeth!!

me, bffl

drinking buddies :)

we try weird things together, like haggis

Relationship Guru...

I most certainly am not. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of awful when it comes to the whole relationship thing. And I mean any kind of relationship. I feel like I'm a generally friendly person, and I genuinely care about my friends and do what I can so as to avoid any sort of riffs with them. But I often feel like that isn't enough, or it's taken advantage of. So many people tell me that they can instantly tell upon meeting me that I just don't get mad...well that's not true. Of course I get mad, we all do. I just seem to do a better job of bottling stuff up than most people. Which, I think, is why I have so many relationship issues. There's a lack of communication in almost all of the relationships that I have. Excluding my mother and sister, I don't always tell people what I actually think about something for fear of upsetting them. There is a literal fear of confrontation that affects me all the time. I hadn't really thought that this was necessarily a bad trait until recently. Like I said, people see me as friendly and nice...and then they get surprised when I voice an opinion that is contradictory to their own. They don't know what to do with it, so half of the time they laugh and the rest of the time they get upset. Neither of which I really appreciate. And so, of course, then I get upset. Because I've offended someone or they aren't taking me seriously. It's a vicious circle, really. 
This year I need to work on improving the relationships that I already have, actively make an effort to meet new people and expand my small circle of acquaintances, and try to be more comfortable in not only expressing my opinions but also in the fact that some people just aren't going to agree with them. And that's perfectly fine. 

8 Days and Counting!

8 days until I leave to move in at CoCo! I'm excited for a few reasons:
1. I'll be in an apartment, with a kitchen, so no more nasty dining hall food.
2. I'm a Senior!!
3. I'll be living with 3 wonderful, amazing people!
4. Classes = me actually having to get up every morning, get out and do stuff, which I have not being doing lately and I really need to get back into a normal schedule
5. Writing my Senior Thesis is both extremely exciting and very nerve-racking...but I think I'm ready for it.

Converse really is beautiful

I just have to remember to make the most out of my current situation. No matter how much I want to be back in Glasgow, I just can't make that happen right now. So, I need to learn to thoroughly enjoy Spartanburg and all that it has to offer. Plus, Greenville and Asheville are always fun. I'm a Senior, I'm 21, and I'm ready to completely and utterly enjoy this year.