It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas!

Well, not exactly because it was almost 80 degrees today..which is just not okay in December. But, welcome to SC I suppose. This break has been pretty good. Dealing with family issues has been more stressful than I wanted it to be, but at this point it's impossible to avoid. I've spent a good deal of time with him and it's been good to actually just be with him and not only talking over the phone. It's definitely a different relationship in person, which I'm really starting to appreciate. I was right in thinking that any relationship comes with a certain amount of drama, but we seem to be handling things pretty well and just dealing with life as it comes our way.

We finally put a tree up in the house and various and sundry holiday decorations, so even though it's toasty out it feels wintry inside :) I love all of the sparkling lights and big ornaments and greenery everywhere. Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. Mainly, for the same reason as other holidays, because I get to spend some quality time with those that I love the most. Plus, we have cookies and sweets showing up at our house like it's going out of style and really, who's gonna complain about that?!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!  :)

So Much Happening!

In the past few months I've:
1. Started my Senior year of undergrad!!
2. Been accepted to 3 schools in the UK to study for my postgrad (including GLA)
3. Decided that I'm officially going back to GLASGOW!!!!!
4. Had more health issues than I really ever wanted
5. Gained a completely new appreciation for my family and all that we do for one another
6. Written 25 pages about and given a 10 minute presentation on my Senior Thesis
7. Received an internship with a local museum

Needless to say I've had a number of breakdowns(including many tears and more than a little bit of snot). I cried from happiness at the prospect of returning to Glasgow and feeling like myself again. I have felt more accomplished and proud of myself than I ever have and I'm starting to feel like I really can handle this thing called life. I'm excited to be busy again, maybe even a little too much so, but it's what makes me thrive. Hopefully this last semester is going to go by smoothly so that I can spend peaceful time with my family and yet quickly enough that it will feel like no time at all until I am packing my bags to head back to my favourite place in the world...

Growing Up...maybe

It is amazing to me to look back on the past three years and to see just how much has changed. I've changed, my friends have changed, my family has changed. Heck, even my dog has changed! Now, I realize that part of "growing up" is experiencing change and accepting the fact that sometimes there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop it.
I'm fine with that. It's taken me a while to reach that point, but I can honestly say that I am at a point in my life where I'm welcoming change and all of the ups and downs it adds to my schedule. Freshman year, you never would have heard me say that. I can remember having full-blown panic attacks because something that I felt like I needed to have control over was spiriling away from me. I'm still a bit of a control freak, and I like to keep a sense of order and an amount of peace in my life, so I'll never go too crazy. But, after so long of the same over and over again something new and different may be exactly what one needs to keep going. Or to have that epiphany of "I can't control everything". It's scary and can make people uneasy, but it's also been very freeing and has allowed me to come to terms with myself and what I actually want in life.
That sounds like a pretty "grown up" thing to say, right?

Missing Scotland

It has officially been a year since I got on a plane going to Glasgow, Scotland. I absolutely cannot believe that so much time has passed. Any time I think about my experience in Glasgow it all seems so surreal. I wanted to go to Scotland since before I can remember, and now that I've gone...I want to go back even more than before. I know that I need to enjoy where I'm at now and truly cherish my Senior year, but I can already tell that until the day I am at the gate in the airport I'll be slightly off-kilter, not quite myself. And I apologize now for any way in which that affects my relationships with people. It's not completely fair to them or me, but neither is life in general, right?

Bffl loves :)

Party this weekend for the bffl/roomie!! She won't be partying as hard as some of will be, seeing as how she'll be ...preoccupied. But it's still going to be so much fun. Even though we probably spend way too much time together and don't always agree on every single thing, she's one of the best friends that I have ever had and I don't know that I would be the person that I am today without her influence in my life. And for that I will always be there for her, no matter what. Love you, Elizabeth!!

me, bffl

drinking buddies :)

we try weird things together, like haggis

Relationship Guru...

I most certainly am not. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of awful when it comes to the whole relationship thing. And I mean any kind of relationship. I feel like I'm a generally friendly person, and I genuinely care about my friends and do what I can so as to avoid any sort of riffs with them. But I often feel like that isn't enough, or it's taken advantage of. So many people tell me that they can instantly tell upon meeting me that I just don't get mad...well that's not true. Of course I get mad, we all do. I just seem to do a better job of bottling stuff up than most people. Which, I think, is why I have so many relationship issues. There's a lack of communication in almost all of the relationships that I have. Excluding my mother and sister, I don't always tell people what I actually think about something for fear of upsetting them. There is a literal fear of confrontation that affects me all the time. I hadn't really thought that this was necessarily a bad trait until recently. Like I said, people see me as friendly and nice...and then they get surprised when I voice an opinion that is contradictory to their own. They don't know what to do with it, so half of the time they laugh and the rest of the time they get upset. Neither of which I really appreciate. And so, of course, then I get upset. Because I've offended someone or they aren't taking me seriously. It's a vicious circle, really. 
This year I need to work on improving the relationships that I already have, actively make an effort to meet new people and expand my small circle of acquaintances, and try to be more comfortable in not only expressing my opinions but also in the fact that some people just aren't going to agree with them. And that's perfectly fine. 

8 Days and Counting!

8 days until I leave to move in at CoCo! I'm excited for a few reasons:
1. I'll be in an apartment, with a kitchen, so no more nasty dining hall food.
2. I'm a Senior!!
3. I'll be living with 3 wonderful, amazing people!
4. Classes = me actually having to get up every morning, get out and do stuff, which I have not being doing lately and I really need to get back into a normal schedule
5. Writing my Senior Thesis is both extremely exciting and very nerve-racking...but I think I'm ready for it.

Converse really is beautiful

I just have to remember to make the most out of my current situation. No matter how much I want to be back in Glasgow, I just can't make that happen right now. So, I need to learn to thoroughly enjoy Spartanburg and all that it has to offer. Plus, Greenville and Asheville are always fun. I'm a Senior, I'm 21, and I'm ready to completely and utterly enjoy this year.

Summertime, and the livin' is easy...maybe too easy

Oh man, this summer has been something else. I don't think I've ever had such a hectic and yet lazy summer in my entire life. My home life has changed, awkwardly but for the better I think. I didn't get a job, so I'm extra poor which has led to spending way too much time with my dog. A lack of things to do, other than cleaning the house, has made me feel a bit more...not quite depressed, but something like it. Needless to say, I am more than ready for the business and fast-paced life that is college. However, I'm also ready for this last year to be done and moving towards the next phase in my life. I'm ready to jump in feet first!

I'm Back!

So, I couldn't sign on to this blog for a few months...I thought it was because I switched emails but apparently I was very wrong because it worked just fine earlier today. Oh well.
I'll be back to posting things about my "oh so exciting" life, even though I have all of one follower and no one but family ever reads this :) It still helps me get everything out and in the open, which seems to be quite therapeutic, so I'm going to keep at it!

Life Planning

Dun, Dun, Dunnnnn!

  
I have to share the revelation that Elizabeth and I had last night (one of many) because I'm just too excited not to. Who doesn't like having a good plan?
   One of the courses I'm taking this semester is Junior Honors Seminar in which we basically decide what we want to do with the rest of our lives...fun, right? Not so much for those of us who have yet to figure out exactly what it is that we want to do "when we grow up" in a year and a half from now. Needless to say as we started off the class by informing everyone else what our plans for the future was one could see the sense of dread and stress come over multiple faces in the room, including myself and my roommate.
Last night, as a way to just vent and release some of that stress so recently acquired, Elizabeth and I had one of our fairly frequent "life planning" sessions. Basically we go over all options that we have, realistically or not, and attempt to figure out when ones we actually want to try and achieve or work towards. In our case, we got to about plan F (after going through researcher, teacher, writer, and tea room owner) before narrowing down our options. I, as is probably pretty evident, want to go back to Scotland, specifically Glasgow, to finish up my schooling and then hopefully live there for a few years at the lease. I'm deciding, as of right now, between Information and Library Science (yeah, that's right, I actually want to be a librarian and be surrounded by books all day) or Museum Studies (essentially, I 'd work towards being a curator). But, because the postgraduate programs at Glasgow only last a year, I could ideally complete both programs and still be done by the time I'm 22. Of course I would pick one program, finish it, and then get a job in that field to help pay for the second program. Both options would allow me to move around if I decided that was what I wanted to do, I wouldn't "have to go into teaching" as so many people assume I will, and should I decide to come back to the States it wouldn't be too hard to find a job here either. Sounds pretty good, yeah? We are pretty awesome at planning our lives when we sit down and really focus on it. Though, it's still one of the most scary things I have ever had to do. I guess it has to be since it is a huge decision and something that you really have to think hard about before making any concrete decisions. I know that I never want to get stuck doing something that I don't enjoy. So, we'll see if things change over the next year and a half as I finish up my undergrad and get ready for gradschool...but I doubt it will too much simply because I can't handle the stress.


This better not be me...



Sweet Charleston



Charleston

 Elizabeth and I came home this weekend for academic break, and as she's never seen very much of Charleston we spent the day downtown trapsing across the city. Having always lived so close to Charelston for 20 years, it's easy to forget just how gorgeous the city can be. With the cobblestone streets, numerous historic buildings, and easy access to beautiful waterfront views, Charleston is hard to not fall in love with. Today's weather was wonderful as well, low 70's and sunny with a slight breeze...absolutely perfect. If you've never been, here's a list of things you should see and places you should try to go:
   1. King Street- even though it's a bit pricey, it's nice to just walk down the street and see the beautiful buildings. Plus, this is the best place to get a feel for the college side of town as it's fairly close to College of Charleston campus
   2. The Market - about a 15 minute walk from King Street, the Market is great. Lots to see and buy, and most of the prices are generally pretty reasonable. Although if it's too hot outside it will be stuffy in there, and probably crowded because it's where people go to "beat the heat".
   3. Waterfront Park - a short walk next to the water you have to take at least 5 minutes to enjoy the huge swings that provide an awesome view of the harbour.
   4. The Battery - not full of much to do but yet another great view of the water. And, there are tons of trees and quite a pretty epic gazebo.
   5. Planet Smoothie/Cupcake - all the way down King St. past Marion Square and right next door to one another these two places are a great place to get a snack. The best way to pick between the two is to decide how heavy of a snack you want (the cupcakes are rich and delicious, but not the best if you plan on walking a lot more after eating).
   6. Blue Bicycle Books - right up the street from Planet Smoothie, this store is absolutely adorable. Very cozy and full of both old and new books (and a very friendly but perpetually sleepy cat) I think this would be a great place to spend a few hours just perusing.
   7. Baked- always fresh and delicious this bakery is made even better by its fun seating (long tables that promote sitting with people you don't know) and fun, bright decor. Oh, and it's on E. Bay St.
   8. Charleston Cook!-  also on E. Bay St. I probably love this place so much because I love to cook. They have loads of cooking utensils, cute aprons, recipe books, and they even offer cooking classes. I would probably spend a fortune here, that is if I had one.
   9. Churches - Charleston's called the Holy City for a reason, there are churches everywhere. Many of them are historic and quite beautiful on this outside as well as the inside. As Elizabeth said "They're like Walgreen's...there's one on every corner".
   10. Walk - even if you don't do everything that's on this list, though quite a few of them are things that everyone suggests, just walking Downtown is an experience. You'll find hidden courtyards, cute alleyways, and many photo opportunities. Plus, it's fun to wander around and imagine what it would be like to live in one of the houses that you pass...

The Battery, King St, Baked, Planet Smoothie

On Being a History Nerd

   I have yet to discover exactly what it is that I will be doing with the History degree I graduate with next year, but I do know that I have always enjoyed learning about history (and probably always will). My mom says it's probably because we get to learn about all the gossips and scandals, which makes sense I suppose because I do love to gossip. But, I love learning about how people lived and interacted in times past and seeing how completely different, or not as the case may be, it was from our own interactions.
   This past weekend, as extra credit for my Jan-Term class, we could go to a Revolutionary War reenactment at Cowpens Battlefield. Now, I have never been to one of these things but they have always seemed quite exciting. Who wouldn't want to see people walking around in period dress and making meals over camp fires? Admittedly, some of the appeal is lost once one hears a supposed soldier discussing his honeymoon and various cell phone troubles, but it was still a really fun day. We saw a cavalry demonstration as well as a weapons demonstration that included a canon! There was also a British regiment represented which consisted of plaid pants and at least one kilt, which obviously made me quite excited. It was really fun and quite enjoyable to hear exactly why it was that the British lost at the Battle of Cowpens. If you are ever presented the opportunity, I definitely recommend that you go to one of these reenactments. You'll probably learn more than you thought you would.


Notice the kilt and plaid pants



This horse was massive!



Little reenactment village



What's Makin' Me Happy



1. My family and the fact that I get to hug them instead of simply seeing their lovely faces on the computer screen

2. The color of that door. I'm going to have a door that exact color at some point...

3. Finally losing weight and keeping it off (some credit goes to the fact that I caught Mono but still)

4. Thinking about grad school in Scotland. Or just dreaming about the time that I can go back

5. My Connies and their silliness

6. Snow at Converse!!

7. Okay, so my cold isn't making me happy but the fact that I can buy DayQuil and NyQuil makes me so much happier than it should.

New Year, Old School

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Okay, so I'm a few days late. But, in my defense, I didn't have a computer for a few days and then I had to re-pack everything that I just unpacked a week ago to move back to Converse. I really was not ready to start back to school yet. Generally, we get almost a month off for Christmas break, but with not leaving Scotland until the 18th I only got about two weeks this year. It was a great two weeks too! I loved getting to spend so much time with my family, as I've said multiple times. Seeing everyone again made me realize how much I missed them while I was in Scotland. But, at the end of those two wonderful weeks I had to re-pack "The Beast" (as Jess has lovingly nicknamed my suitcase) and head back to school.

Sunshine :)

Dexter!

It was the weirdest feeling driving to school and thinking "this is where I'm going to be for the next 5 months. Not in Scotland, but here". How do I feel about that, honestly? I would rather be in Glasgow. Don't get me wrong, I adore my Connies and I missed them greatly, but Converse itself seems to bring out a different side of me that I thought I had almost gotten rid of in Scotland. I've always been extremely shy but for some reason Glasgow seemed to make me feel more confident and sure of myself and I was able to move past that, or so I thought. It seemed like the moment I stepped back onto Converse campus it came running back. I just feel intimidated most of the time here, and I don't like it.
I can't figure out if it's the fact that EVERYONE here is incredibly smart, students and professors alike, or if it is just the fact that that's how I've felt for the last two years here and it's just something I associate with this place. Either way, I'm going to do all that I can to keep my shy/less confident side out.
In the meantime, I plan on spending a lot of my time dreaming about Scotland and how quickly I will be able to find myself back in Glasgow. It was like I did not realize that I wouldn't be going back after Christmas until the time came to head back to school. It just hit me how many places I didn't get to see and how many people I had met there who I was going to miss. So, my solution? I'm going back as soon as I can (it's even a New Year's resolution)  :)